To be selfless is defined ashaving little concern for one's own interests, but how healthy can selflessness be? When is it truly time to draw the line? Is there a way that one can straddle the line between selfish and selfless and not be judged?
I ask myself these questions every day. I like to consider myself to be a selfless person because I am a people pleaser. It runs in the family, I know that, but often some label my actions or feelings as being selfish even when I only have the best intention. When is it okay to think about me first? I’m also extremely stubborn and hard on myself; I like to keep things to myself and figure it out internally on my own. When is it okay to spend more time with friends on the weekends or time at the gym? When is it okay to ask for help when it comes to my own responsibilities just to gain some of my sanity back? When is it okay to grieve over the loss of a loved one or the health of another? Especially when losing that loved one only saved them from more suffering and when worrying about another only causes that person to stress out because I worry so much. When you know someone is going through something really tough, is it selfish to vent to them about something bothering you or that happened to you even if it might worry them further? Is it fair to express your feelings towards the situation even if it might make them feel bad that you’re so upset?
Does anyone else ever have these questions or this problem? It really does suck when people want to go ahead and point fingers and label you as selfish when you, at some point, decide to be less selfless. In my experience, being selfless all the time has only led to health issues, more anxiety and more mistakes. Sometimes people need to treat themselves for all the hard work they’ve done and give themselves a break from anything that may be overwhelming them. If you don’t feel confident enough in yourself than you’ll never be satisfied no matter how many people you try to please. I’ve thought long and hard about good and silly investments now that I am making more as a nurse. I decided that if I can treat myself to anything, instead of the ‘hair & nail’ days people take for themselves, I will treat myself to a healthier lifestyle and a personal trainer to keep me motivated in times where I truly just want to give up. I could probably afford a new tattoo every once in a while too but that money is only invested and done in a few hours; fitness and a lifestyle requires long-term maintenance. May be a little pricey but who can put a cap on their health if it could prevent a big pile of expensive healthcare bills sometime down the road. That money could be put towards a larger savings for my future, but what does all that money mean if I’m not satisfied or confident in myself? I could have a large house, a fancy car and the most expensive purse but if I’m not happy than what is the point?
If you all can’t tell, I’m far from materialistic. I know when to settle and when to upgrade. I have decided that I am going to make it a huge priority and selfish when it comes to my own health because I refuse to end up like others in my family who only neglected theirs. I do not want to suffer and I’m sure my family and true friends wouldn’t want to see it either.
This post was more serious than others I have posted but it has been running through my mind a lot lately and I had to get it off my chest. Have any others ever felt this way? How did you handle it? Have you ever been yelled at for being selfish when all you wanted was a break from being selfless? My advice: Do not let anyone or anything consume you to a point where you forget who you truly are. Do not forget to love yourself before you love others and don’t be afraid to take the necessary steps to make sure you do so. If your people choose to guilt you for it, than maybe they do not have your best interest in mind… making them selfish. Your thoughts?
No comments:
Post a Comment