learn something new every day

Yesterday was my first day meeting with a personal trainer. I was skeptical to say the least because when I go to my gym I see the trainers working with primary an older clientele but this girl whooped my butt. I was doing 100 reps of every exercise on leg day, no longer getting sore and yesterday was so basic and I am having trouble getting up off my desk chair! I learned a lot so far, like HIIT cardio on the stair climber vs the boring treadmill or elliptical. I learned how to slow down each rep and how refraining from locking my joints will utilize the muscle more so! I also learned how to breath while doing each rep and between sets. It's not even how much you do its how you do it. I got my measurements done and went home to take progress photos. I plan to post them every two weeks so stay tuned! Please keep in mind that I will be in minimal clothing and these pictures are solely professional and for my benefit. You will also see me doing some poses I will need to do on stage for my competition come June. I cannot wait to meet up with the trainer again on Friday. We are going to split our two sessions a week between upper body and lower. Today I'm going to go back and do some more cardio that I actually enjoyed. My record so far is 30 minutes! Accomplishments already LOL. I was telling a friend before I started my training session that I signed up because I need someone to keep me going and critique me... a person I've blogged about before to say "pick up the pace tubby!". Although I don't expect any trainer to yell those things at me I did check my phone to change the music and saw a text from my friend saying "GO tubby! :)" and I could not help but laugh. Yesterday was a great start, a pleasant surprise and definitely motivating to go back and see more results. Now, to just get my diet under control and I will be set. Still waiting on that 6PackBag purse/lunchbox to come out this month!

Reason or Excuse

Can anyone distinguish the difference between a reason and an excuse? What criteria makes a reason excusable and an excuse reasonable? A reason is defined as a cause, an explanation or justification of an action or event. An excuse is defined as an explanation to defend a fault or offense. To me, one sounds like a little more positive than the other. A reason is made for something that actually happened and excuses are made for something that was either improper or not done at all. The two excuses I despise hearing the most are “I’m just so tired” or “I don’t have the time”. I don’t exactly have time to commute to and from my full time job in the city, go to nursing school, be present at home to spend time with my family and help out my mother or even go train at the gym… that doesn’t include meal prep, running errands, spending time with my dog or even hanging out with any of my friends. I barely even sleep at night but I still get up and do my daily routine, do what is expected of me to my best ability and don’t stop running until I’m done. I find myself taking little naps on my breaks or before my morning shift in my car. But fact of the matter is that I have a life to live, bills to pay, responsibilities to take care of, a job to maintain, a future to build and a healthy lifestyle to start so I’m alive to do all of those things. I often wish I was one of the kids my age who don’t need to work, who get everything they ask for including money and have all their expenses taken care of for them by their parents. I wish I didn’t have to pay my way all the time so I could afford more food and protein and supplements for the gym or even new clothes, maybe get my nails done once in a while. Regardless, that wasn’t the hand of cards I was dealt and I play the game my hardest and don’t cheat or make excuses. Will I cut corners occasionally? Sure. Do I sometimes put off a bill, skip a set at the gym or even sleep in more than I should sometimes? –Yes. But if I can accomplish all that I have and continue to do with all of the life stressors I have on my plate than I don’t want to hear people tell me they’re too tired to keep a promise, show up for a function or even go to the gym and exercise. To me those are excuses and not valid reasons. Maybe I push myself too hard, maybe I don’t give myself enough time to recoup especially when I’m sick, but being tired or being sick has never stopped me from doing what I need to do. I find it motivating seeing people who are bombarded with obligations and life problems succeed and finish what they start. I think its inspiring and actually gives me hope and confidence that I can do the same. Its really depressing to me to see people constantly making those irritating two excuses for not doing important things that could help them. Sometimes I think society has lost its will power and work ethic. I refuse to become a follower of that crowd. I will beat my own drum and march in my own direction if need be because I cannot be negatively influenced anymore. I pray for those who need to find the will and motivation, especially when it comes to friends and family. I hope my story that you’ll read about, of my success and accomplishments, my hardships, my rising and occasional falls, will inspire someone to make a change –if not for themselves than for someone else. Don’t make an excuse for what you didn’t do, but rather come up with a reason for a change.

My mind runs faster than I do.

Is there really a true definition of selfish or is it solely determined by perception and opinion? To be selfish is defined in any dictionary as placing concern with oneself or one's own interests above the well-being or interests of others. But at what point is it okay to put your self before others? What if one whose actions come off as selfish only has good intensions? Can you label someone for being selfish for how they feel? What if expressing your feelings goes against the best interest of another? Who can exactly even determine what is in someone’s best interest?

To be selfless is defined ashaving little concern for one's own interests, but how healthy can selflessness be? When is it truly time to draw the line? Is there a way that one can straddle the line between selfish and selfless and not be judged?

I ask myself these questions every day. I like to consider myself to be a selfless person because I am a people pleaser. It runs in the family, I know that, but often some label my actions or feelings as being selfish even when I only have the best intention. When is it okay to think about me first? I’m also extremely stubborn and hard on myself; I like to keep things to myself and figure it out internally on my own. When is it okay to spend more time with friends on the weekends or time at the gym? When is it okay to ask for help when it comes to my own responsibilities just to gain some of my sanity back? When is it okay to grieve over the loss of a loved one or the health of another? Especially when losing that loved one only saved them from more suffering and when worrying about another only causes that person to stress out because I worry so much. When you know someone is going through something really tough, is it selfish to vent to them about something bothering you or that happened to you even if it might worry them further? Is it fair to express your feelings towards the situation even if it might make them feel bad that you’re so upset?

Does anyone else ever have these questions or this problem? It really does suck when people want to go ahead and point fingers and label you as selfish when you, at some point, decide to be less selfless. In my experience, being selfless all the time has only led to health issues, more anxiety and more mistakes. Sometimes people need to treat themselves for all the hard work they’ve done and give themselves a break from anything that may be overwhelming them. If you don’t feel confident enough in yourself than you’ll never be satisfied no matter how many people you try to please. I’ve thought long and hard about good and silly investments now that I am making more as a nurse. I decided that if I can treat myself to anything, instead of the ‘hair & nail’ days people take for themselves, I will treat myself to a healthier lifestyle and a personal trainer to keep me motivated in times where I truly just want to give up. I could probably afford a new tattoo every once in a while too but that money is only invested and done in a few hours; fitness and a lifestyle requires long-term maintenance. May be a little pricey but who can put a cap on their health if it could prevent a big pile of expensive healthcare bills sometime down the road. That money could be put towards a larger savings for my future, but what does all that money mean if I’m not satisfied or confident in myself? I could have a large house, a fancy car and the most expensive purse but if I’m not happy than what is the point?

If you all can’t tell, I’m far from materialistic. I know when to settle and when to upgrade. I have decided that I am going to make it a huge priority and selfish when it comes to my own health because I refuse to end up like others in my family who only neglected theirs. I do not want to suffer and I’m sure my family and true friends wouldn’t want to see it either.

This post was more serious than others I have posted but it has been running through my mind a lot lately and I had to get it off my chest. Have any others ever felt this way? How did you handle it? Have you ever been yelled at for being selfish when all you wanted was a break from being selfless? My advice: Do not let anyone or anything consume you to a point where you forget who you truly are. Do not forget to love yourself before you love others and don’t be afraid to take the necessary steps to make sure you do so. If your people choose to guilt you for it, than maybe they do not have your best interest in mind… making them selfish. Your thoughts?

Be inspired. Be inspiring.

Today’s post is going to be about motivation...

 I often scroll through Facebook and Instagram and see other people who post their progress and their workouts and it gets me really motivated. I wish I saw these at home and not just on my breaks at work because it makes me want to get up and workout right then and there. I find the hardest part about dieting and working out is staying motivated especially when times get rough. I often wish I had a workout partner to train with but whenever I do go to the gym with a partner we are usually silent and working out separately until we do abdominals. When I look at profiles of other competitors and see their transformation I say to myself "that can be me... That will be me... I want that satisfaction". 

Something I have also found really helpful for motivation is the right music. I personally need the music not just playing but blaring in my ears. I mean it's worth the trade anyways, right? Ear drums in exchange for a nice figure... Not even my doctor has ever told me I have sexy ear drums so I figure... who'll notice? -- I'm already hard of hearing LOL. But on a more serious note, I've always been very passionate about music... It can set, enhance or change my mood completely. I can go from Daughtry to Nickleback, to Britney Spears and Don Omar and then I suddenly find myself dancing inbetween sets -.- working out releases endorphins that make you feel great and even though it may be tough getting there or even sticking to the workout, it's so worth it in the end. This week I am going to make it a goal to update the music on my phone for the gym... Anybody have any suggestions of artists, songs or mixes? 

Here are some pictures today that I found extremely motivating today... 

 

(So true... Never do I ever want to hear "suck in the guy" especially when I'm in a photoshoot!)

Gotta love nice set of legs and booty topped off with a flat tummy!

My parents raised me right...

MY BIGGEST motivation EVERYDAY...

A post my mother made while sharing my modeling portfolio on her Facebook.. If anyone taught me what it means to be a true fighter it's her... And if I knew she wouldn't behead me, I would post HER modeling pictures that I look at every day. Trust me when I tell you she has the finest legs any woman would die for. I love you, Mom! 

So I must ask.. What/who inspires you? I hope to in some way inspire others with a crazy lifestyle and any doubt at all. I don't always feel strong, so if I can do it than so can you... No excuses!

Administering a dose of Whoop-Ass!

Howdy Everyone! It may look like I haven’t posted in quite a long time… and in fact you are correct. The past few months have been like a Soap Opera for me and I’ve taken on many roles. Not only am I officially an EMPLOYED Licensed Practical Nurse in the Bronx, I am an RN student and have been playing “Nana” to four new puppies for the last 8 weeks.

I’ve learned a few new things about myself. Firstly, ain’t no way in hell I can get any school work done at home! If I’m in the kitchen I will immediately go back and forth to the fridge, get distracted by NCIS or Criminal Minds constantly playing on the living room T.V. or want to pet the dogs under my desk. Secondly, as easy as math comes to me, I CANNOT read it out of a text book. Doing College Algebra out of the text without someone re-showing me how polynomial fractions are done is damn near impossible, and if I try to study in my room I will put the book down and go to sleep.. It is just not happening! Third, I have always loved animals but never did I realize how much I truly love and adore them until I helped my little girl give birth and help raise them. From watching their first steps, witnessing them opening their eyes, making sure they eat on schedule and coddling them when they are fussy, I loved being “Nana”. Not many people get to experience raising puppies for 8 weeks... and BOY was it draining and a pain, but I would not exchange the experience for the world. I’m fairly confident that one day when I do have children, I will do alright. I even have an aspiration to open up an animal rescue one day... My cousin asked "why do you work in a hospital and not a animal hospital?" And my response was "because Ill want to take them all home!" It's so true, but I love to help everyone, including animals :)

Needless to say, I fell off of my fitness kick due to my obligations at home. I am up at the crack of dawn and don’t get home from work until6/6:30 with puppies to feed and clean up after and helping out around the house. I couldn’t exactly go out to the coffee shop or library either to get school work done so both school and the gym, sadly, got put on hold; HOWEVER, now that the very missed puppies have new homes, I have picked out my new competition dates for June 2014 and it gives me about 7 months to prepare. I have doubled my salary but am making a conscious effort to save up, fix my car, pay off all of my debt and eventually register to be apart of a fitness team like Team Bombshell or Team Edge! I’m going to make it a point to put myself on a strict schedule for school, work, gym, and spending time at home with my friends and loved ones. No one but me is going to get me to my goal so I need to crack down and GET’R DONE! By saving money on food every week and after my taxes I’ll finally be able to start doing things for ME which I haven’t exactly done in a while.

With help from one of my GNC/Meathead buddies, I’m going to come up with a simple diet that stays routine and less like a menu. I hate protein but I need to suck it up so I’ve looked up some awesome/simple protein recipes that are quick and easy to prepare so that I can go back to enjoying eating healthy. Muffins, cake, French toast, cereal, dessert…mmmm… I’ll feel like I’m cheating on my diet even though I’m not! My cousin/sister that lives at home with us loves to bake so maybe it’s something that we can both get into together. I’m rather excited. I don’t expect anything for Christmas since we are forfeiting gifts this year BUT if I could make a wish-list it would consist of gym compression shorts, fitness tank tops and the new mealbox/purse that 6PackBags is coming out with! 

How freaking cool do those bags look? Look just like a purse but instead is a lunch box for the day. Despite the fact that I would feel more like the woman I am growing to be, it would be so much more convenient than lugging around the huge picnic basket I had before. I’m super excited for them to release this line.

I think once taxes come out, after my car gets fixed and credit cards are paid off than I will be making some smart investments. Long story short of this scatterbrained post, I am extremely excited to have things back on track now. Biff is still that “on the go” girl but she’s now going to be more organized and focused than ever was before... So look out because this nurse is about to administer a large dose of whoop-ass!

...Ps for all of you who haven't seen my grand-pups here they are! 

Where can I find cute little Minions?

I haven't posted in about two weeks. The time I used to be at school I use to sleep lately to catch up on all I lost this year. I still manage to get my rump to the gym though. I was going to designate Sundays as my OFF day because its my only definite day off from work but when its nice out like today (another off day) I can't help but want to go to the gym and lay out poolside afterwards. Can you guys guess what my plans are today? LOL

I did take some progress shots 2 weeks ago and have compared them to a few days ago.

 I am starting to realize that even the wrong cheat meals on your off day can really mess with your water weight fluctuation. I have been having a hard time keeping on track with my supplements. I keep them in my GI-HUGANT lunch box and on days where I can't meal prep and instead purchase healthy meals, I forget to take my supplements. Starting tomorrow I am going to stay strict on taking my supplements and being a little less lazy with my mealprep.

A new friend of mine sent me his abdominal work out because I posted on Instagram that I want it to hurt when I laugh so I know I put my abs to work... well let me tell you, it worked! I actually felt the damn burn I've been wanting when I did the routine. I saw in the last two weeks how fast I can see results if I stay on top of myself. My boss/not-so-boss-anymore-since-he-got-transfered/friend who knows my interest in dancing and getting drinks on weekends suggested DietCoke and Vodka... no carbs! I'm going to make it a valid effort to cut out alcohol even though it is in my 21-year-old nature to want a drink when I go to a club/bar and dance. My biggest downfall when I go out is my food choices afterwards. My dear friends Ronald and Wendy taught me often with their spicy chicken sandwiches, nuggets, and loaded baked potatoes with cheddar and bacon -_-. Looks like I may have to limit my friendship with them especially since I have been going out so often lately.

On a more festive note, I hope ya'll enjoyed your 4th of July festivities. This holiday has also been a damper in my diet -- I know, excuses, excuses. I WILL say though, that when eating my meals I chose water over any other beverage I desired! I even went to go see Despicable Me 2 with a best friend of mine and DIDN'T purchase popcorn OR candy. IF any of you know me, thats a shocker. Its a tradition of mine that any time I visit the Palisades Mall that I stock up on all sorts of sour sugar candy at the Candy Land stand. It took some mental "no tubby, candy will make you even more of a tubby!" to myself to get me to keep walking but I DID IT :) The movie, by the way, was fabulous. I couldn't stop giggling and I also managed to tear up the moosh that I am in the end. I will say that the animated movies are always awesome 100% of the time and Despicable Me 1&2 are my favorites.. Definitely recommend doing it! If only I had cute little minions to do my chores, my meal prep, and work out with my life would be so much less exhausting and more entertaining!

Instead, here I am with laundry to fold and put away, meals to prepare for tomorrow and craving a flatbread pepperoni pizza from Dominos after a long day of laying poolside, bloated as hell from this weekend looking like a beached whale. Tubby's gotta get back on her grind because as of today she is 8 weeks out!

"Pick Up the Pace Tubby!"

I know I've been posting about restarting my workout routine and diet regimen for a while. Well guess what, folks.... I graduate this Tuesday!!! *HAPPY DANCE* This means, no more 2.5 hour commute a day, more money in my wallet and not in my gas tank, more time to spend with family, friends, SLEEP, and importantly.... The gym! I never thought I'd ever say those words because as I've described before there were days I swore I'd never lift a weight in my life and you wouldn't catch me dead on a treadmill. WELP.... You know what they say, NEVER say never! And here I am about to announce that tomorrow will OFFICIALLY start my new regimen and routine. I am 12 weeks Out from competition and my game face is on! (Kinda, I don't really have a serious game face... I always start laughing at myself. Only serious face I can give is the dirty look I can instinctively give any man when he acts up. I do it rather well! thanks Mom =] ) I've been expressing lately that it's hard to stay focused and motivated about dieting and working out when I've always been able to eat what I want when I want and not have to worry about burning off the calories. Some days I need the extra push, that person I can text or talk to while sweets are staring me right in the face and they will tell me "No Liz, you'll turn into a hippo on stage if you eat that!" Or even motivate me at the gym with "Come on Tubby, PICK UP THE PACE!" Although if anyone told me yelled that at me I would probably fall over and laugh hysterically, I could really use it. Most friends who I take to the gym with me I have to motivate and force them to keep going when they want to give up... What about me? WELL, I'm putting on my big girl panties and I'm going to just start telling myself that. One of my best friends who happens to be family is home for the summer and decided she would go with me this summer so I feel a bit better about it. My new routine is super intense. Only one off day and 6 days a week of Cardio... my cardio rotates daily though so I'm not doing the same thing multiple times in one week thankfully! I want to get done drenched as if my uncle threw me into his pool with all of my clothes on like he used to. I decided I'm going to cut out the diuretics until the last two weeks of training so I can see a drastic difference. I bought a fitness journal that breaks down my day by diet, calculating carbs, protein, fat and calories and keeping track of my routines so I can see my improvement. Ill also be taking weekly photos and practice my posing so I can see my week by week progress. Graduating that nursing trade program makes me feel like I can do anything considering the past two years were HELL! I'm about to start running circles around the devil :)

Even though BOCES is over I am still studying for my RN and reviewing to get my license as an LPN. To keep my nursing mind fresh while also focusing on training, I may occasionally start every post with a Nursing Diagnosis on myself and end it with an intervention. I find it quite amusing what you can come up with. 

Today? Knowledge Deficit: r/t learning what it takes to become a bikini competitor evidenced by this blog. Interventions include weekly research, asking questions, welcoming feedback from all followers of my blog and logging my progress as often as possible!

 This is just a little quote I found while obsessively browsing on Pinterest and decided that it fits me well. May just make it into another tattoo! :-D